You are about to dock your ship and suddenly it hits by another ship which was already docked there. You are furious, cursing the person and mumbling constantly as you are to leave your ship and reach to his, wanting to beat the shit out of him. You enter the captain’s room but find no one. A tickle of smile sits at the corner of your lips as you realise it’s no one’s fault, only a stream of wave moved the ship and hit yours. Embarrassed about how you behaved unknowingly.
How did that happen, all of a sudden the anger which was boiling your blood, begged to be taken with a brute force, disappeared? Simple, if there isn’t anyone to be blamed or no stimulus for anger to arise, then nobody will take things personally, no one’s blood will boil so easily and quickly.
How often we get angry if someone bad-mouths about us, disagrees with our opinions and beliefs, argues about something he thinks he is doing right and you are doing wrong? If we understand that people are like that ‘docked ship’, not in control by himself and whatever he has done isn’t his fault, probably a stream of wave hits him and he couldn’t control himself. He said something, disagreed with you or even bad-mouthed is not his fault completely because his thought and actions are filtered by the upbringing that he has received, culture that he was born with, society he faces on a daily basis, social media that influences his observations and perceptions and many more. Many factors are involved for a person to react to a particular situation. So, if you ever think he is wrong, understand, he is right according to him and you are right according to you which has come from the knowledge that you possess, experience that you have had and memories that you carry.
Nothing in this world is right, nothing is wrong. Not merely everything is related but RELATIVE!
How often have you let go of your previous beliefs, opinions, understanding about something after learning from your experiences that those held-so-strong opinions were wrong and whatever you think now is correct? But the catch is you were right, according to you at the time you hold your previous opinions and you are right now too, according to you. From the experience that would have in future, your thinking would change and you would let go some of your beliefs, opinions which wouldn’t be aligned with your new experiences. Likewise, everyone has his own understanding of life and they live with their own beliefs which are aligned with their experiences, be it from upbringing, from companionship or imposed by the society. If one wishes to have a different experience, he would change a belief or opinion and forms another. If it’s right, according to you, good enough! If not, you can still be at peace as two completely opposite truths can exist at the same time in the world of relativity which is also called as THE DIVINE DICHOTOMY!
We have been taught to think clearly with clear perspective without any doubt or confusion. People want to show that they are pretty clear in their thoughts and beliefs; they are either on this side or on that side, no one wants be hanging in between or not being able to decide or judge what is right or wrong (according to them at least). The society teaches the same, a person with clear vision is embraced but the one with a confused mind is ridiculed. We were never taught to see the other side. No one embraces the ambiguity of the things.
Every one sees either WHITE or BLACK, but no one tries to understand and embrace GREY, which is neither white nor black, in other words, the mixture of Black and White.
I remember Rumi’s quote that sums it up perfectly:
Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
It’s the first blog I posted of the Book of Alternatives Blog which is the basis of this whole series – Embracing the ambiguity, exploring the opposite side of the coin, understanding the Dichotomy of life. It is explained by Tiber Hawkeye, the author of ‘Buddhist Boot Camp’. Apart from the Library of wisdom, that you might have seen on the website, I am sharing you four my most favorite books that are very close to my heart and these books have the biggest share of thoughts behind all the blogs you encounter on the website.